The honeymoon is over.

It’s been just over six months since I arrived in Spain. And I have six months more on my visa.

Half way points are a good place to reflect and look ahead. What have I learned? What am I feeling? What am I thinking about the future?

I haven’t told you about about some new “old” frustrations. Choir communication (or the lack there of) that left me ready to scream. A friend who promised to meet and then doesn’t. Language struggles. The details aren’t important. What is important is this week I was seriously having doubts about my future here. After the feelings of manipulation by one friend, abandonment by another, and rejection from the choir that couldn’t bother communicating basic information, (what to wear and what we will sing for a performance), I was telling myself that “just because I love Valencia, that doesn’t mean that Valencia loves me.”

The emotions of this week included feeling alone, frustrated, sad and aimless. I really needed to process all of this.

Then, on Wednesday evening, I had a Coke with a local Spanish guy who spent some time in the US and fifteen years in the UK. Paco offered a kind listening ear. He’s someone who lived long enough in the UK. So, he’s no longer “just Spanish.” He helped explain cultural differences (i.e. Spaniards don’t plan, arriving late is normal, etc). And he encouraged me to relax and not let these things stress me so much.

Thursday evening, I met a gentleman from Venezuela, who just moved here two months ago from Palm Springs, CA. Rafael loves opera, classical music and culture. And he lives a few blocks from me. We walked through the Turia Gardens and came upon a free concert with a Queen cover band. We stopped and enjoyed the show that was really good!

The concert included lots of Queen songs, and covers of Michael Jackson, Pink Floyd, Tina Turner and U2. It was amazing!

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Rafael and I talked about some of our shared frustrations in Valencia and without ever mentioning names, we realized that in a city of 850,000 people, we both met, befriended and unfriended the same toxic, manipulative person. It was encouraging to both of us to see that one person is not a reflection of the city and culture.

And Saturday, at the beach, I met Laurent from the Bordeaux region of France. We talked for hours and met for breakfast on Sunday. Laurent has lived in Valencia for thirteen years. So, he shared a unique perspective of a European immigrant. And helped clarify actual cultural differences. He confirmed the lateness of Spanish people is due to the fact that they don’t want to make a plan. That has certainly been my experience. When I think there is a plan, the other person sees a suggestion. So if something else comes up for them, no problem!

Then Saturday night, Rafael and I met for dinner and then the fireworks. It was a gorgeous night with a full moon.

I know I’ve shared a lot of fireworks pics and videos on this blog. But this one included music and lasted more than 20 minutes!

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I don’t think there’s a city in the world that provides more fireworks than Valencia.

This week has really helped me separate cultural differences from personalities. Meeting new friends has helped remind me that there is a lot more connection to be made here. And through it all, I still very much love this city!

So what’s the future look like?

I still cringe at the idea of finding a full time job. I just don’t want the stress or the hassles. I love studying, being a part of the choir, working with Dima on building his YouTube channel and exploring new places and cities.

I’m committed to finishing my Spanish studies.

I could extend my student visa. My attorney is ready to help if that is what I decide.

Or I’m contemplating changing my visa to a more permanent visa. That would require returning to the US and starting the visa process all over again…a process that could last three to four months.

The honeymoon may be over. But whatever I do (as of right now), it’s hard to imagine that one year will be enough in this magical city.